1) I could use a sister wife today.* Then someone could watch the fussbucket while I sleep, or shower, or brush my teeth.
2) The fussbucket doesn't need sleep. He can live on pure baby adrenaline. Since I've been sick he has clearly needed even less sleep because, of course, I need more. So he wakes up at 2:30 in the morning. And he doesn't nap for more than 30 minutes. Do you think my sister wife would get up at 2:30 in the morning so I could sleep?
3) I always miss my husband, but I miss him more when I'm sick and the fussbucket wants to revert back to newborn sleeping patterns. My sister wife cannot deploy.
4) Liam is on the move. I still put a blanket down on the floor out of habit for him, but what's the point? He never stays on it. He scoots off to find things he wants. Normally these are his walker, the birds on his Inantino Play Time Activity Center or the dog bed. I'm just counting down to him discovering the dog's water bowl. That should be fun.
5) Thank God for the jumperoo. Thank God for the P-cola family loaning us theirs! Now that Liam is on the move it's about the only way I can contain and entertain him. Unless I get a sister wife. She can hold him and entertain him.
6) My Dyson is clearly my best friend. Without it the floors Liam wants to scoot around on would be dirty and covered in dog hair. Wouldn't it be helpful to have a sister wife to share in the housecleaning duties?
*Please note* No sister wives were harmed in the making of this blog. And for those who are getting ready to call my husband or my pastor, I'm not really on the hunt for a sister wife. This was all a little tongue in cheek. It's a joke. I swear.
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Don't ya love how you have to explain great sarcastic humore to avoid getting in trouble! LOVE it!
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